Say aah!

I hate visiting dentists. In fact, they scare me more than doctors do. A visit to the dentist is like confessing all your sins to god. It's judgement day, the day that I visit my dentist.

I prepped myself up for two whole agonising days before I had to visit Mr. Wonderful Dentist. I had been delaying this visit for a verrrry long time. My appointment was for Tuesday evening and till the very last 15 minutes I debated hard about postponing it. Hubs (as in, Hubby) however decided he was at his brave best that day and like a real trooper egged me to follow through with my 'execution'. He packed me in to the car while I protested and grumbled all the way to the executioner's clinic.

Anywho, my problem with dentists is not that they poke and cause pain with absolutely no remorse. It's how they click their tongues when they delve deep in to your open gob that bothers me the most. And it inevitably happens to me every time I sit in a dentist's chair. Note that I have my mouth wide open with pokey instruments stabbing at my gums, so I can't utter a word to ask what's wrong with me and why he is making that annoying "tch, tchh" noise with his tongue. His assistant, meanwhile sticks a suction pipe in my mouth that gurgles away while it sucks in all my saliva. I detest the sound of that machine. I wonder where all the saliva goes?

Dr. Wonderful (as I will now sarcastically call my Dentist) shook his head in dismay and continued to survey the damage. Meanwhile, expecting the worst, I tried desparately to speak to him with my eyes. I imagined a huge crater in my teeth....I'll have to have a root canal....I'll be in so much pain....I'll need false teeth. Just as I was beginning to have a panic attack, Dr. Wonderful sat back in his chair and looked at Hubs, who had decided to sit himself down in the chamber, as witness to my humiliation. "When was the last time she had her teeth cleaned?" asked Dr. Wonderful. What?? Is that what this was all about? My teeth are dirty??? For heaven's sake man, and here I was planning a funeral for my gorgeous gums! And oi, ask ME the question, I do have a tongue in my mouth - Hubs isn't in charge of my personal hygiene.

Okay, so I hadn't had my scaling, scraping and cleaning done in 3 years, but I do brush my teeth twice everyday. I also rinse my mouth out with water (and minty mouthwash) after every meal and chew lots and lots of mouth fresheners. I haven't had a cavity in years. What the hell was all that fuss about a little bit of tartar?

My dreaded visit ended with a slap on the back of my hand and a promise that my next appointment with Dr. Wonderful will be after no longer than 6 months. Haah!! We'll see how that goes! For the next few days though, I am going to flash my sparklers at everyone...just till they go yellow again. :-D